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5:38 p.m. - 2013-09-25

It all started with the poem I read to my drama teacher in Grade 10..my mom gave me the advice that whenever I read poems, give them feeling..yeah I did just that, I read that poem, whatever poem it was, with so much feeling that my drama teacher told me to try out at the youth theater group not far from where I lived. I was such a shy introvert that I was shaking when I left her class. ME?? ON STAGE?? NEVER!! But curiosity won out at the end & I went. It was a small white building, nothing how I pictured a theater to look like, was I thinking of the Radio City Music Hall in NYC? Anyways, when I walked in, I knew it was a mistake..I was soo nervous & couldn't breathe, I just took one look at the big stage & had an emotional freak-out. I did somehow manage to get up on stage & they gave me a script book filled with lines..I had to read a few characters parts & they told me several times to speak up coz they couldn't hear me which angered me & I got loud, then I had to make an imaginary bed which didn't make much sense to me & then that was it. I was totally exhausted from a Friday night party where we watched back to back 6 films that the next day I was in a deep sleep trance when the bloody phone woke me up at 6:30 am! I was half-asleep & didn't get what they were saying on the phone until it hit me that I got a part in the play & I told them "no, thanks" & hung up. Do I regret doing that? Nope. I found out that I really didn't care for the theater or acting in general. I always preferred being behind the camera & creating art. That's where I feel comfortable the most. I HATE being in the spotlight! I cringe at attention even though I dress retro or different from most poeple. Clothes is different than actually being the center in an audience filled with people. That's probably why I didn't become a singer or fronting a band..I've tried but I got stage fright so many times & forgot the lyrics..ugh! The only time I never got stage fright was when I was dancing with a large group on stage. As long as there were more dancing with me I felt okay. I'll always be the shy art freak sitting in the corner of the room.

I made a batch of chocolate cupcakes last night while watching Dance Moms. Cupcakes are for my mom's exam group coz they did amazing at the Competition coming in first place. Watched "The Great Gatsby" ummm..it was okay, I prefer the 70s version more although this one had a better ending. Leo DiCaprio's head looked fat but I still like him. I just didn't get the rap music..there was no rap music in the 1920s?? Some scenes looked like a Snoop Doggy Dogg music video..confusing! OMG!! Sophia Coppola's "The Bling Ring" is a really great film!!!!! high school students who rob celebrity homes & its a true story!! y'all go see it! According to the film, Paris Hilton has a night club room in her house complete with pole-dancing!LOL!! I would looove to see the inside of Kirsten Dunst's house, or got back in time & see Twiggy's room etc..I would NEVER steal anything, it would just be fun to walk around & look at the stuff they have.

On Friday the weather was very humid + hot, so we went for the day to the beach at Port Dalhousie..it was wonderful to walk in the sand barefoot, the water was cold, I wrote in the sand, we sat at the Pier & there was a warm ocean-like breeze, the beach was quite empty & ominous looking like the film "Blood Beach", ate Louisiana food..

Next day it rained but it was still a bit humid, went to Bath & Body Works & their pumpkin apple smells soo good like when I make Swedish recipe apples with honey baked in the oven..soo good! Went to the Halloween Spirit store & got white go-go boots, fishnet tights, & a skull that changes colours. We're having a Halloween Party a few weeks from now & i'm going as a go-go dancer, then there's Stew's party on Halloween night when I will dress up as Edie Sedgwick. Can't wait!!

When we were at the grocers looking at the dvds..i picked up Gus Van Sant's "Last Days" which i really wanted but some moron broke it & the dvd was all scratched up & i couldn't find another one so we ended up getting the John Lennon film "Nowhere Man" & "Mozart & the Whale". A guy there tried to help me find another copy of "Last Days" ummm..he was very talkative but old..he was mostly talking to my mom. He looked like Michael Biehn in "A Taste for Killing"..he was the bad guy so this guy sorta creeped me out, but he was really nice & friendly. He told us that he has 2 horses that he rides in the mornings, 2 Saint Pyranees dogs & 2 Burnese Mountain dogs & that he feeds over 10 cats in his barn. Finally he told us that he'll let us do our shopping & he left. Good Golly Miss Molly!!

Went thriftshopping yesterday with friends..my friends bought Halloween stuff at Value Village while I found an amaaazing Courtney Love-style babydoll dress in pink with flower print, a long chiffon light green with white polka dots dress (very 1950s), silver ballerina flats, an 80s necklace, baby blue stars bracelet & a 60s pink/yellow flower print scarf. Went to Timmy's & had yummy maple caramel donuts. I really want to eat at The Corvette Diner in San Diego..how groovy is that place??? I love watching World's Weirdest Restaurants..there's the awesome Vampire Cafe in Japan where people are served food by a gorgeous looking vampire guy!@! I'd never leave, LOL. Oh, someone brought my mom a moon cake..its a Chinese tradition since there's the moon festival at Mandarin's..well, mom hated the taste of it but i sorta liked it coz it tasted like marzipan with egg yolk balls inside when you cut it in half.


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